So I was in the drug store the other day, trying to get a cold medication. You ever try and pick one of these out? It's not easy. It's a wall. It's an entire wall of cold medication, you stand there, you're going, "Alright, alright, alright, okay, what the hell-- This is quick acting, but this is long lasting. When do I need to feel good, now or later?" It's a tough question. And they always show you the commercials on TV where they show you what's wrong with the guy, you know? They always show you, like, all the problems that he's having. First of all, the always show you the human body, which is usually this guy. No face, mouth open, this is how drug companies see the public. And he's always in, like, a certain pain, it's like red wavy lines are going through him or he's glowing, parts of him are on fire sometimes, lightning is attacking him. I never had a doctor say to me, "Are you having any pain?" "Yes I am." "Are you having any lightning with the pain?"
Emily likes radio and school. She also makes coffee for people in exchange for money. She is tall and pale.
Assistant General Manager
Staff and Programming Director
I make the schedule
"To me, going to the health club, you see all these people and they're
working out, and they're training and they're getting in shape but the
strange thing is nobody is really getting in shape for anything. The only
reason that you're getting in shape is that so you can get through the
workout. So we're working out, so that we'll be in shape, for when we have
to do our exercise. This is the whole thing. The other thing I don't get
about it, is why we're so careful about locking up our dirty towels and
smelly jock-straps. What exactly is the black market on these disgusting gym
clothes? I give my car to any valet guy in front of a restaraunt because he
has a short red jacket, yeah he must be the valet guy, I don't even think
about it but my stinking, putrified gym clothes, I got one of these locks
you could put a bullet through it and it won't open. That stuff is safe."
Mitchel is happy he was promoted to "web master" from "web monkey"
As an engineer, I'm in charge of everything from drills to soldering irons that make loud noises, smoke, and basically disturb your radio show. (Don't worry, I won't) Usually, you might see me around the studio trying to unwind the cords that people are so determined to wrap around the microphone.
"For men, the transplant is the procedure of choice. The hair plug is an interesting process. It's really quite amazing. Hair that was on your shower soap yesterday can be in your head tomorrow. How did they do the first transplant? Did they have the guy take a shower, get his soap, rush it in to the hospital by helicopter, keep the soap alive on a soap-support system? Eventually they move it over, "We got the hairs, but... I think we lost the Zest." Sometimes a body rejects a vital-organ transplant. Is it possible that a head could reject a hair transplant? The guy's just standing around, suddenly "bink" -- it lands in someone's frozen yogurt."
Hey my name’s Madeline and I’m one of the Assistant Music Directors this year. I’m a sophomore who came back from break with the foolish idea that I can continue to do everything that I did in freshman year plus more! I’m fine I swear (eye twitches). It’s really not all that much. Just three jobs, three executive board positions and a couple of 300 level classes. I’m not cracking at the seams at all!!! (Silently screams but with MLA citations at the end). I’m also double majoring in creative writing and art so if you need a math problem solved you’d be better off asking a high school freshman than me because I forgot all of my elementary algebra before Halloween of last year. I host The Softbox Vol. 2 on Monday’s at 5pm and I cohost the Music Department Power Hour on Friday’s at 1pm.
Assistant Music Director
Assistant Music Director
"I do music and conspiracies and that's about it"
“Seems to me the way they design the car alarm is so that the car will behave as
if it was a nervous hysterical person. Anyone goes near it, anyone disturbs it,
it's aaaaaahhhhhhh! Lights flashing on and off, acting all crazy. Not
everybody wants to draw that much attention to themselves, wouldn't it be nice
if you could have a car alarm that was a little more subtle? You know, somebody
tries to break in, it goes, "Ahem. Ahem. Excuse me?" I would like a car alarm
Assistant Publication Editor
Peter has been an assistant publication editor on the WHCL e-board for two semesters, and has a show called Listeria, Tuesdays at 10pm. Peter enjoys loud music and walks in the glen.
Corinne is a junior at Hamilton. She likes herbal tea, theory, cavernous spaces, mornings, skincare, and very loud speakers.
Assistant Publication Editor
“To me, the whole concept of fear of success is proof that we are definitely scraping the bottom of the fear barrel. Are we gonna have to have AA-type meetings for these people? They'll go: "Hi, my name is Bill, and the one thing I'm worried about is to have a stereo and a cream-colored couch." According to most studies, people's number-one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. *Death* is number two! Now, this means to the average person, if you have to go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.”
Wade is the publicity director for WHCL. He works to publicize all the great things that WHCL does. Wade likes to sing songs and listen to them too.
Peter is a sophomore at Hamilton College, where he studies computer science. In his free time, William loves to play video games and hang out with his friends. He is part of the Duel Observer and the Smash Club on campus, alongside being a member of the WHCL e-board.
STR: 7 (-2)
DEX: 8 (-1)
CON: 9 (-1)
INT: 14 (+2)
WIS: 12 (+1)
CHA: 15 (+2)
Member at Large
Member at Large
My name is Amika and I'm a member at large. My hobbies include haunting my local CVS and staying hydrated.
“ I love it when people are complimented on something they're
wearing and they accept the compliment as if it was about them. "Nice tie." "Well,
thank you. Thank you very much." The compliment is for the tie, it's not for
you, but we take it. That's kind of the job of clothes; to get compliments for
us, because it's very hard to get compliments based on your human
qualities. Right? Let's face it, no matter how nice a person you are, nobody's gonna come
say "Hey, nice person." It's much easier to be a bastard and just try and
match the colours up.”
“I have a friend who is about to get married, they're having the bachelor party and the bridal shower on the same day... So it's conceivable that while she's getting the lingerie, he'd be at a nude bar watching a table dancer wearing the same outfit. That is possible. But to me, the difference between being single and being married, is the form of government. You see, when you're single, you are the dictator of your own life. I have complete power. I can give the order to fall asleep on the sofa with the TV on in the middle of the day, no-one can overrule me! When you're married, you're part of a vast decision-making body. Before anything gets done there are meetings. Committees have to study the situation. And this is if the marriage works. That's what's so painful about divorce: you get impeached and you're not even the president! ”